Lately, so many people have been asking me the same question over and over.
'How do you feel?'
And I never know what to answer. I always say 'I don't know...' or 'I'm feeling so many things it's hard to tell'.
But now, it's hit me. I'm really leaving. I'm gonna be in the Netherlands in a few hours, and I'm gonna start a new life there. And how do I feel? I'm scared shitless. Sure I'm excited, happy, nervous, thrilled, etc. But right now, I'm mostly scared.
Why am I scared?
Ever since I was little I wanted to get out of Mexico and see the world. This opportunity I have right now... I can't just let it slip away. It's a chance to fulfill my dream. However I'm scared. I'm scared that chasing this dream is destroying everything else. What if by chasing it, I'm missing out on the things that are truly important? I can't keep on leaving the ones I love behind. I mean... I know I'm still gonna be in touch and I'll never forget them but damn... I wish I could take them all with me. It's hard to keep going if you feel like you're alone. And that's what I will be... at least at first, at least physically... alone.
So I'm scared. But I'll deal with it, like I always do. With the help of the people closest to me. Because I know I'll always have my family & friends backing me up every step of the way. Because I've set my mind to it, and because once I do that,
I am unstoppable.